


Petals

by Marvel_Mania



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 00:27:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19120840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvel_Mania/pseuds/Marvel_Mania
Summary: It shouldn’t have been a surprise and it wasn’t but that didn’t make it any easier. Peter knew that it had only been a matter of time before his silly little crush became something more. He had been alone in his dorm the first time it happened, Ned had been out on a date with a girl he had met in a coffee shop. Peter had rushed for the trashcan, thinking he was going to be sick but that’s not what happened.He went into a coughing fit but his dinner isn’t what came up, rose petals were.





	1. Petals

**Author's Note:**

> Peter is an unspecified age in this but he is a freshman at NYU so there is that. This story concept has been bouncing around in my head for a long time so I thought I would actually put it to text. Also I’ve seen stories where you can have the surgery done that saves your life but you can never love that person romantically again and I’ve seen the slightly more depressing version of if you get the surgery you won’t be able to romantically love anyone again so of course I want with the more depressing one. 
> 
> Thank you two my amazing best friends for proof reading this but I maintain that any and all spelling/grammatical mistakes are mine and mine alone. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It shouldn’t have been a surprise and it wasn’t but that didn’t make it any easier. Peter knew that it had only been a matter of time before his silly little crush became something more. He had been alone in his dorm the first time it happened, Ned had been out on a date with a girl he had met in a coffee shop. Peter had rushed for the trashcan, thinking he was going to be sick but that’s not what happened.

He went into a coughing fit but his dinner isn’t what came up, rose petals were. After that he sat in the floor and cried until he got a text from Ned saying that he was on his way back to their shared dorm room. Peter quickly pulled himself together and shoved the petals into his pocket.

Peter should have known sooner. The first sign was a slight pain in his chest but he ignored it in favor of blaming it on a punch to the chest he had received in a fight about a week ago but he couldn’t ignore this. He knew who was causing the disease, there wasn’t a doubt in Peter’s mind that the unrequited love was for Tony Stark. He was surprised that it had taken this long for his crush on Tony to develop into full fledged love.

When Ned got back to their dorm, Peter considered telling him but couldn’t bring himself to do it. His friend was happy about how the date had gone, saying that they were going on another one in a few days. Peter didn’t want to worry his friend so he stayed silent. That night, after Ned fell asleep, he considered going to the hospital in the morning but couldn’t bring himself to do it. While the surgery would save his life, he wouldn’t be able to feel love the same way he did now.

He was able to keep the whole thing a secret from everyone for about two months. He’s coughing fits had gotten longer and more frequent but still, they happened when he was alone or at least not with his friends. The other day an old woman had seen him in the middle of a coughing fit on the subway. When she saw the petals and his tears, she silently got up from her seat and hugged him. She shushed him and told him that it would be alright, that everything would work out in then end. He broke down completely after that but she just held him until he was better. She never told him what option was best for him and he was thank full for that.

When her stop came, she made sure that he would be okay. He smiled and said yes. He thanked her multiple times before she left. “Everything is going to be alright,” she repeated one last time before leaving him alone. For the first time in weeks, he felt not so alone because an old woman offered him her support. As weeks progressed and the flowers grew he kept thinking back to the subway and repeating the woman’s words to himself. He knew that they were a lie but one that provided comfort. He knew that this was going to kill him but he couldn’t bring himself to go to the hospital.

Ned was the first one to find out, two and a half months after he couched up the first petals. He had found Peter coughing when he came back to the dorm early. Ned begged him to go to the hospital and get the surgery done but Peter couldn’t. “Ned, I can’t. You don’t get it. If I do this, I’ll never be able to love again, not really. I don’t want to live if I can never love again. I know Mr. Stark will never love me back like I love him and I’m okay with that,” Peter explained. In the end, they both were in tears but Ned understood. Peter knew that he wouldn’t push the subject or tell anyone.

“I’m going to miss you, Peter,” Ned said softly later that night.

“Well, don’t miss me yet. I’m not dead and from what I’ve read, I still have six months left at the least so don’t go trying to take my suit just yet.” Peter said, trying to lighten the mood just a little. Ned let out a wet laugh and they didn’t talk about it again. Peter lied about just how much time he probably had. In reality six months was probably optimistic, he had closer to four or five months.

Weeks marched on into months and it was getting harder to breath. Peter tried to go on as if nothing had changed but swinging around the city and fighting was becoming more and more difficult. Eventually, when he had missed a building with his webbing and free fell about twenty feet, he realized that he couldn’t no longer be Spider-Man. As that realization hit, he knew that he had around a month to a month and a half tops.

Peter had done a good job of hiding it from Tony, meaning that he had been avoiding the older man. He did call Tony when he realized that he couldn’t be Spider-Man anymore, though he told him that he was simply sick and swamped in an unholy amount of homework. Tony had laughed and told him not to worry about out, that the bad guys would still be there after the semester was over and after he started to feel better. Peter briefly thought that _he_ wouldn’t be there when the semester was over but he didn’t tell Tony that. That was the same night that he had packed all of his Spider-Man gear in the case Tony had originally given it to him in.

“Karen,” he asked with just his mask on, the rest of the suit was already packed.

“Hello, Peter. Are we going out tonight? This is the longest gap between patrols since getting the new suit,” Karen said matter of factly.

Peter felt silly but he also felt like he needed to say goodbye to Karen. “Uh, no, we aren’t going out. Karen you can’t tell Mr. Stark this, I’ll tell him soon, okay?”

“Of course, Peter. Mr. Stark has programmed me to follow your wishes given that you are not actively in mortal danger. You are not in mortal danger currently, are you,” Karen asked.

“No, I’m not. I just wanted to say thank you for always looking out for me, I guess,” Peter tried.

“It is what I am programmed to do,” Karen simply explained.

“I know, I know. I just wanted to say thank you,” Peter said once more.

“It has been my pleasure, Peter,” Karen said before Peter took off the mask and put it in neatly on top of the suit.

“I’ll miss you, Karen,” Peter said even though he knew that the AI wouldn’t hear him now that he had the mask off.

As the coughing got worse and breathing got harder, Peter started thinking about telling May and the Avengers but he was a coward. He couldn’t stand to see the look on his Aunt May’s face when she would find out that Peter was dying and he was letting it happen. He also knew that if she asked him to get the surgery he wouldn’t be able to turn her down so he wrote letter to everyone he cared about.

He wrote a letter to May, Ned, Happy, the Avengers, and Tony. May’s thanked her for everything she had ever done for him and he told her that he saw her as his mother because she had always treated him as her son and he apologized for her having to find out how she was but that he also knew that he couldn’t face her. Ned’s thanked him for being his friend and partner in crime for every stupid thing that did together. Happy’s thanked him for putting up with Peter even though Peter knew that he sometimes annoyed the man. Peter grouped all of the Avengers together because he wouldn’t have been able to sit down and write each of them individual letters, it would hurt too much, so he simply thanked them all for taking him under their wing.

Tony’s letter was the hardest to write because he had to explain the most to him. Tony’s letter talked about how he had had a crush on the man since before they actually met. He told Tony about how he felt. He told Tony that what made him realize that he was in love with the genius was when he had seen Tony give Pepper roses. He was pretty sure that was why roses were the flowers growing in his lungs but he didn’t put that in the letter. He told Tony not to blame himself because Peter could have stopped it at any point but didn’t. He told Tony that it wasn’t his fault.

Peter kept the letters hidden in his desk, not wanting Ned to find them, and continued on living. Two weeks after he wrote the letters he woke up unable to breath for a moment. He coughed up a few more petals and was able to take a few breaths. He looked at the clock and saw that Ned should have already left for his first class of the day. Peter contemplated trying to go to class but that notion was quickly tossed out the window when he went into another coughing fit.

This was it, he realized. He knew that he was able to die, about to suffocate on the flowers in his lungs, but he felt oddly at peace with it. He knew that he would be found at least by the time Ned was done with his classes or someone from one of his classes might come to check on him before that but he knew that everyone would know that he was gone by the time the sun set. He hoped that Tony really wouldn’t blame himself for any of this.

The last thing Peter saw before the lack of oxygen made him pass out was a full rose. He clutched it in his hand even while the rest of his body went limp.


	2. Thorns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter happens basically immediately after the first chapter and it's basically how Tony and others react to the news about Peter. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Tony would grudgingly admit that he did have google alerts set up for a few things. Most of them were set up to find any emergencies quickly but he also had a few set up just for himself. When one of his google alerts went off one afternoon he automatically thought it would be a volcanic eruption in Hawaii, an earthquake in Indonesia, or maybe even an alien invasion but it was none of those. This google alert was set off the the head line.

_NYU Student Found Dead In Dorm_

The article didn’t have any names or any real details. It just explained that a young male NYU student had been found deceased his room. Tony knew that it probably wasn’t Peter but he also knew hat he needed to call the younger man. He knew that when Peter found out about this he would be heartbroken, even if he didn’t personally know the other student, and would do everything he could to make his campus safe again.

Peter didn’t answer the phone. Tony tried to reason that Peter might have an afternoon class but he couldn’t get this nagging worry in the back of his mind to go away. He called Peter’s phone again three times only for the same result each time. At this pint the small nagging worry was getting larger and more prominent. When he didn’t get an answer on the fifth call he cursed and threw his phone on one of his cluttered work benches.

“FRIDAY, is Peter in his suit,” Tony suddenly barked at the AI.

“No, Boss, based on current data Peter has not been on petrol in nearly a month and a half. Would you like me to pull up a recording of the last time he wore the suit?”

“Yes,” Tony said and Peter’s face appeared on a holographic screen.

The video started with Peter making sure the Karen was there, as she always was. Karen preceded to great Peter and ask if they were going out the night, Tony didn’t know when the video was recorded. Peter then asked Karen not to tell Tony, said that he would tell Tony soon but Tony hadn’t heard anything from Peter in a few weeks. He had assumed that Peter was simply trying to survive life as a college freshman and was focussing on his grades, he was now regretting not checking on the boy sooner. Peter ended up thanking Karen for being there for him and then the mask was pulled off.

Before Tony could for a rational thought he was in his Iron Man suit and flying to the NYU campus. “FRIDAY, call May Parker,” Tony ordered. May didn’t answer. “Fuck. How long until I make it to the campus?”

“Approximately one minute and thirty seconds.” Tony then told FRIDAY to get in touch with campus police or anyone who would know what was going on before he got there. Tony had never felt this helpless, this useless.

As soon as he landed, he was met by the head of campus police. Before the man could say anything, Tony started talking. “The boy form the dorm, what was his name?”

If the guard was confused he didn’t show it. “A freshman named Peter Parker,” he said.

“Who found him? What happened? Has his aunt been notified?” Tony felt like his chest was being crushed, like he couldn’t breathe.

“One of his classmates went to check on him after he missed two of his morning lectures and found him already deceased. It appears that he had advanced stages of Hanahaki. The police said that it was a miracle that he survived as long as he did. We are trying to contact his family but haven’t been able to get a hold of anyone yet,” the guard explained.

“Where is he,” Tony forced out.

“The NYPD has his body.”

 _His body_. It was finally starting to sink in a little bit. Peter was gone, forever. “Can I go to his dorm? I will only be there for a moment.”

“Of course but you should know that his roommate is also there,” the man said.

Tony nodded a little numbly and walked off by himself. Before he left he said something about being the one to tell May. He had a basic idea of the campus, Peter had taken him on a tour his second day on campus. He had been so happy the him and his friend were going to be roommates and that he would still be able to be in New York. God, that had only been a few months ago and now he was dead. Tony was able to find the find the building and the RA told him the room number. No one stopped or questioned him, it was known that Peter had had an internship where he worked closely with Tony himself. When he got to the room he knocked, remembering that the guard had said that Peter’s friend was in the dorm.

“If this is a reported I swear that I will call the police. Go away,” came from inside the dorm.

Tony took a chance and tried the door to find it unlocked. When Tony entered the room he saw a kid who he thinks he’s met or at least seen a picture of. Though he was fairly certain that the last time he had seen the boy’s face he had been smiling, now he looked like he had been crying for a few hours. His face was red and splotchy but Tony could g fault him for that, he had lost his best friend. “Not a reporter,” Tony said, aiming a little for a joke but falling flat.

The boy, Tony couldn’t remember his name but he knew that Peter had mentioned him at least once, quickly looked up. “Mr. Stark,” he said and then he was sobbing again.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Tony said but the lie didn’t sound convincing to his own ears.

“He left you a letter,” the boy cried out. Tony looked at the boy and saw a letter written in Peter’s hand writing addressed to Ned. He chose to ignore what he had just said in favor of trying to get a few more answers.

“Ned,” Tony said and when the boy didn’t correct him he continued, “can you tell me what happened? Last time I talked to Peter he didn’t say anything. Why did he not get the surgery?”

“He said that he didn’t want to live if he couldn’t feel love the same way. Said that he was okay with it, okay with dying.”

“Who was it,” Tony forced himself to ask but he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach that already told him who it was.

His suspension was confirmed when Ned simple said, “you.” He didn’t remember exactly how things proceeded after that. He just knew that he was given a letter for the Avengers, May, Happy, and himself. The next thing he knew was that he was at the hospital May worked at and she was crying. He vaguely remembered the worried expressed on May’s face before tears started streaming down it. Tony help her and gave her the letter that Peter left before he had to leave. He still had to tell Happy and the other Avengers.

Happy was the next one he told. “The kid’s gone,” was what he was able to get out before Happy realized. He didn’t believe at first and then lashed out when Tony said that it was real. Tony left Happy Peter’s letter before he left. Next he told the other Avengers. Everyone was heartbroken but Natasha seemed to take it especially hard. Tony had known that the red-head had taken Peter under her wing to the point were Peter called her “Mama Spider.” She had remained silent for a long time before simply leaving. Clint followed her not long after, knowing she she was probably going to throw herself at missions until she had to face that Peter was really gone. Tony flew back to Stark Tower when the concerned looks from Steve got to be too much for him. As soon as Tony was completely alone he started to drink. He thought about Peter, cold and alone in a morgue. He finished a total of one drink before he threw his glass at the wall.

May invited him to the funeral but Tony didn’t go, how could he? It was his fault that Peter was dead. He told the others about the funeral and they went. He got a phone call from May asking why all of the Avengers were at her nephew’s funeral. She wasn’t mad, just confused. He told her about him being Spider-Man and came clean about everything. They were both crying by the time the phone call was over.

Four days after the funeral, Tony finally dragged himself out of his lab and went to visit Peter. He showered for the first time since he heard the news and dressed in all black. On his way to the cemetery he stopped and got roses. He had forced himself to read the letter that Peter had left him the day before and Tony felt like he needed to bring roses after that. May had told him the Peter had been found clutching the bud of a rose that had been growing in his lungs.

When he got to Peter’s grace he cried again. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Peter,” Tony said. He waited for Peter voice to answer, to tell him that it was okay and tell him that he was okay but that didn’t come. It finally completely felt real. Peter gone, forever. Tony stared at the words written in stone and cried until the sun set and he had to leave.

 _Peter Benjamin Parker_  
_Loved Son, Nephew, Friend, and Hero_


End file.
